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I was excited because I found a Hungry Howie's pizza near my house. I ordered a pizza and the chef took my order. There was a mess on her lips that looked like Oral Herpes, so it made me lose my appetite that I'd worked up for over 2 weeks waiting for that pizza. Then I saw her touch her lip with an ungloved hand and I didn't know what to do. I was thinking about giving it to a homeless guy, but I thought it wouldn't be fair to the homeless guy to get herpes. My wife suggested I talk to the manager and get my movie back, but I thought it would be too embarrassing to the chef if she didn't really have herpes. So I ended up just telling them that they could keep my money and I don't want the pizza anymore and left.
Got to the Maryland Flag Football game and started warming up in the 40 degree cold and rain. After about 20 minutes realized that I had to poop, but there was no bathrooms at the park. Proceeded to borrow James' manual car right as a game was starting and was gone for about half an hour. The first three places I stopped at didn't have public restrooms or just a toilet with no paper dispenser. McDonald's finally saved the day, but in the process I apparently ran a red light which James received a violation for in the mail about 2 weeks later. This is the story of the $75.00 poop.
Mark can't smell very well because he had an inordinate amount of Listerine go up his nose when he was young. From what I understand it was a economy sized jug with a pump action dispenser. Mark turned he head upside down and accidentally forced whatever the volume of one pump is into his nose instead of his mouth.
Two jerks once zipped Mark up in a military sleeping bag and threw him down a flight of sitars.
Mark is notorious for falling asleep during important meetings or events. His most recent episode was when he fell asleep several times during our childbirth class. Hopefully, he will know what to do when it's showtime.
My favorite story is the time you punched a dude in the face for touching your Black Lotus.
One time ate a whole jar of peanut butter in one minute without drinking anything